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First, an apology for my lag in posts. Rocky Mountains kept me busy, then a big delay on the return flight, sickness, upcoming apartment move, etc, has kept me away from the computer. Now let’s hope this makes it up. A big story from Publishers Weekly mentions the rise of the erotic bedtime stories as offering an alternative to the paranormal romance stuff that’s flooding airwaves and bookshelves.

Vamps are in for some stiff competition from not just the usual demons and werewolves but erotic interpretations of fairy tales. In 2006, readers connected with a short story collection of grown-up fairy tales, Enchanted: Erotic Bedtime Stories for Women, from Harlequin Spice author Nancy Madore, and equally embraced her 2008 follow-up reinterpreting nursery rhymes, Enchanted Again: More Erotic Bedtime Stories for Women…

This leaves me wondering why there can’t be erotic bedtime stories for men. Maybe guys don’t read erotic lit because we gravitate toward porn. In any case, it’s worth exploring. Of course, we’ll have to be careful – considering the age of most fairy tale heroines. Take Goldie Locks and the Three Bears. That needs a fair bit of revision to avoid possible bestiality and pedophilia. Goldie needs at least ten years, and let’s make the bears Hell’s Angels. What happens from there is up to you.

But what does this one St. Martin’s editor mean when she says that, “The numbers tell us that readers want extremely sexy books that push the erotic envelope with no holds barred…” Making extremely sexy books is a tall order, especially as the number of available tales dwindles and the market saturates with paranormal erotic. Again, I think of Goldie Locks:

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed,” said the smoking hot mother bear, as she caressed the impression left on her mattress by a young woman of about 20 years. “And I can’t help but wish whoever was here still were sleeping in my bed.”

“And someone’s been sleeping my bed, too,” said the strong young adult male bear whose name was Edward Collins. “Wait, she still is…”

Goldie Locks woke up, holding the soft down quilt across her breasts. She touched Edward’s arm as she yawned. “I’m so sorry I slept in ya’lls bed.” She looked down and giggled. “But it looks like I’ve spilled porridge all over myself somehow. You know, if I were you, I’d give me a spankin’.”